Grief & Hope

After we made the decision to move, I was surprised that I experienced some real depression. There were several factors that contributed to my feelings including an ongoing health issue that had taken an emotional toll.

As we were traveling to Georgia for Christmas that year, I was listening to a young woman online talk about the grief she was experiencing over the loss of an older sister years before. She had just had a birthday and realized that she was now older than her older sister ever got to be and it was causing her deep grief. I began to wonder if there was an element of grief to the feelings I had been having.

Often, we think of grief as the feelings we have when we lose a loved one to death. But there are so many more losses we grieve. The loss of relationships, a marriage, a dream for the life we thought we would have but didn’t, loss of ability, loss of health, a wayward child. All of these things cause us grief as we mourn over what we think should have been.

This led me to take a deep dive into a passage in the Bible where we see much grief. John 11 is where we find the story of the death of Jesus’ close friend Lazarus. In verse 33, Mary and those with her, probably professional mourners, came to Jesus and the scripture says they were weeping. This weeping was a loud, demonstrative wailing accompanied by the tearing of clothes and wearing uncomfortable garments. When Jesus saw them, He was ‘deeply moved.’ As I studied this phrase, I was shocked. The original words here mean that Jesus was angry. Very angry. At what? The results of the fall and sin that led to death and the resultant mourning that He was witnessing around Him. Wouldn’t this anger be a form of grief? Knowing this is not how things are supposed to be?

The passage goes on to say that Jesus went and stood before the tomb and we there encounter the shortest English verse in the Bible. “Jesus wept.” This word for weeping is different. Jesus didn’t create a spectacle. Instead, He wept silently before the tomb of Lazarus. He entered into the grief of those He loved. He wept deeply with them and for them. He wept because they didn’t understand who He was and what He was capable of or the hope He came to bring.

Are you grieving? Jesus is with you. He will not leave you. He won’t desert you. Instead, he enters in with you because He knows grief.

He also gives us that hope He came to bring. This story doesn’t end with grief before the tomb. It ends in celebration when Jesus raises Lazarus back to life. What do you believe is dead in your life? Jesus is bigger than any death. He can resurrect dead relationships, dead marriages, and dead dreams. 

Brasstown Bald, Fall 2025

I was going through some notes from a study at church and found the phrase, “God specializes in reversals, revival, renewal, and rebuilding.” He also specializes in resurrections and redemptions.

Maybe 2026 is the year we pray for all the ‘RE’ words. They are God’s specialty.

I think the King James works here:

“Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.” ~ Ephesians 3:20-21

What are you asking or thinking? He is capable of so much more.

Holding On

 "Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me!" ~ Genesis 32:26

"In the womb he (Jacob) took his brother by the heel, and in his manhood he strove with God. He strove with the angel and prevailed; he wept and sought His favor."  Hosea 12:3-4a

In the passage in Genesis, Jacob had been wrestling with a "man" all night and this "man" finally touched Jacob's hip and put it out of joint. There are debates about who the "man" is, but there are a couple of clues: (1.) In Genesis 32:30, Jacob says he has seen God face to face; (2.) In the Hosea passage above, Hosea says that Jacob strove with God and the angel - not any angel, but the angel. Regardless of who this messenger was (and I believe it was Christ), Jacob clung to Him begging for a blessing. He held on. 

The story I am going to tell here, I have told before, but some things bear repeating...

Several years ago, Larry and I had the opportunity to cross off one of our bucket list trips when we went to Alaska. We were not disappointed. It is a spectacularly beautiful place and we were able to see things we may never have the opportunity to see again. In addition, we did it all with great friends and some incredible memories were made. 

Now, I feel like I am a moderately adventurous person and I love to try new things. BUT... I am afraid of heights. Maybe a better way to say it might be that I am afraid of falling. So, when the entire group decided to go zip lining, I was terrified. On the other hand, I didn't want to be the only one in the group who wouldn't do it, so I agreed to go.

Does my face say it all?

The day came and we got all geared up. The practice runs were nothing. We got to the first big line and I was nervous, but it was a nice, tight line and seemed pretty stable. I held on and took off. Flying through the trees was wonderful. I thought, "I CAN DO THIS!"

Then we came to a TALL tree. The platform we were zipping to was much lower than the platform we were leaving from and the line between the two was not taut. It came to be my turn. I walked to the edge of the platform and stood there... and stood there... and stood there. Fear is paralyzing and I could not move. I was holding on, but I was holding on to the wrong thing. I did not trust the line and I was afraid of letting go. Our guide on the platform was a sweet young girl and she stepped next to me. She didn't give me a hard time about being afraid or tell me to "just jump." She quietly and calmly gave me facts about the cables and their ability to hold me. She encouraged me by letting me know that others had gone ahead of me and I could trust the cables to get me to the next destination.

Finally, I summoned whatever little bit of courage I had, closed my eyes, held on to my cable, and stepped off the platform. I can't say I enjoyed that particular segment, but I made it safely to the other side.

The best part is what followed. It was the most breathtaking scenery of the trip that day. We zipped over rivers and a waterfall. There was so much I would have missed if I had not held on to what I could trust and let go of my fear.

Sometimes, we come to the edge of something and we don't like what we see. Sometimes, there is a segment of our journey on this earth, or a season, that we don't like and we decide we want to opt out. We want God to build us a bridge or just pick us up and put us on the other side. But most of the time, it doesn't work that way.

How do we hold on when times are hard? 

We need encouragers to help us hold on (and we need to be encouragers for others).

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called 'today', so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." ~ Hebrews 3:13

"Therefore, encouarge one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."  ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11

We need someone who can quietly come alongside us to help us hold on in distressing times. We need to be that person for others.

We can trust when we know the truth.

Certainly, we need to know Scripture, but we NEED to know God. He is the One we must hold on to and the more we know Him, the more we trust that if we hold on to Him, He will take us through our struggle. We must cling to Him as Jacob did.

"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." ~ John 8:32

"Jesus said, " I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." ~ John 14:6

Sometimes, you just have to close your eyes, hold on, and take that first step.

The only way to get where you are going is to step out in faith and go.

"For we walk by faith, not by sight." ~ 2 Corinthians 5:7

Know there is a reward for holding on when we get to the other side.

I would have missed so much that day if I hadn't held on and taken that first step - but I didn't know it in that moment. When we come to scary, stressful, disappointing places or seasons in our lives, we can move forward knowing God has great things on the other side.

Know that even more than us holding on to God, He is holding on to us.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." ~ Isaiah 41:10

The Israelites were in a scary place in Babylon when YHWH said to them, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." (Jeremiah. 29:11) Though we love to quote that verse, we need to remember they would have to go through 70 years of captivity before they would be delivered. In the meantime, God told them to hold on (Jeremiah 29:4-9). In verse 10 of the same chapter, God promised if they would hold on, He would bring them safely home.

Who or what are you holding on to? Cling to Jesus. He will get you home.

Letting Go

 “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?” ~ Isaiah 43:18-19

As I watch the leaves on the trees in my yard turn from green to gold to brown, I know that soon they will let go altogether and the trees will be bare once again. I am reminded that the seasons change and the trees losing leaves is part of that change. 

Fall colors near Brasstown Bald

Why do trees lose their leaves? In order not to bore you with all the science, briefly, it is because of shorter days and colder temperatures. During these times, trees drop their leaves to conserve water and prevent damage. This allows the tree to reabsorb nutrients that would normally go into the leaves and helps it conserve energy. By doing this, it gets a better start in the spring when the leaves return bright and green. Bottom line: without the letting go there would be no growth and a tree in the winter would become sick and die.

People also experience seasons in life. Our seasons are not cyclical like the tree, but they change nonetheless.

This past year has been a season of letting go. One year ago, we moved out of our dream home, took lots of “stuff” to the thrift shop, loaded up our daughter, five cats and two dogs and moved to another state. I left behind the only town I had ever lived in, friends, children and grandchildren, a church, and a bible study that I taught for almost 10 years. It hasn’t been easy. I cried a few tears and struggled with depression, but it is a season we felt was needed for valid reasons and so here we are.

What I know is this: when I dwell on the “former things” and am constantly looking back at what we left, I cannot perceive the new thing God is doing. My prayer has to become for God to “satisfy me in the morning with [His] steadfast love” (Psalm 90:14). I can’t look back or I won’t look forward (Phil. 3:13-14). Without letting go, I will experience no growth. The only reason I should look back is to count the ways God has blessed us and been faithful over this year. 

The other side of all this seeming gloom and despair, is that not only did we move away from something, we also moved toward something. We are close to more family that we have always lived apart from. We are making new friends. We are getting involved in a new church. We get to watch the seasons change - the falling leaves and the new growth. We have much to look forward to and have been blessed in countless ways. God is doing a new thing.

One thing that will always move with us no matter where we go is our faith and trust in Christ and His steadfast lovingkindness. Not only will we not let go of Him, but He will never let go of us. We can live for Him and live to the fullest wherever we are.

Prayer and reflection prompts:

1. Is God calling you to let go of something in your current season?
   
2. Are you holding on to something that is holding you back from His purpose for you?
3. Is there something you are carrying that you need to give to God or allow others to bear the burden with you? (Galatians 6:2)
4. What is the reason you are holding on and what do you fear will happen if you let go?
5. Have you ever let go of something only to see blessing as a result?

Stay tuned for Holding On.